Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
