Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
