I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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