My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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