Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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