Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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