Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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