Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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