Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
