it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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