My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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