do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
