Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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