Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
