id be glad to
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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