So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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