You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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