Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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