Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
