she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
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