i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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