Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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