this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
