Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
