why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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