So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
