like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
