Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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