just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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