Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
