great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
