it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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