I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
