Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dear god my vagina.
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