He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
