I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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