theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
