Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
