Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
