i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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