Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
