so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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