Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
