I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
