I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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