my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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