"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
