he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
