Your dad touched me again.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
