Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
